46. The Initial Incident

OPENING MONOLOGUE - (INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT)

JERRY:
What's the deal with initials? Like, are they some kind of destiny? JFK, LBJ...PCP. Okay, maybe not PCP. But you see someone with the same initials as you, you think, 'connection!' Then you find out they clip their toenails in public and suddenly, not so much.

SCENE 1: INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY

[Jerry is folding laundry, Elaine is reading a magazine.]
JERRY: So, I met this woman... ELAINE: Let me guess. Same initials? JERRY: Yeah! J.S.! What are the odds? ELAINE: Pretty good, actually. There are only 26 letters. JERRY: But still! It's like a cosmic sign! We're meant to be. ELAINE: Right. Until you find out she chews with her mouth open. [Kramer enters, wearing mismatched socks.]
KRAMER: Jerry, my initials are K.K.! What does it MEAN?

SCENE 2: INT. MONK'S - DAY

[Jerry and George are eating lunch.]
GEORGE: So, this pre-nup…she actually signed it? JERRY: Yeah, no problem. She even laughed. Said, 'What do you have, George, your collection of cereal box tops?' GEORGE: She's got a point. But still! I'm protected! JERRY: Protected from what? Poverty? You're already there! GEORGE: It's the principle! [Elaine enters, holding a small, ornately decorated box.]
ELAINE: Guys, look what I found! A vintage initial pin! A 'J'! JERRY: For your new soulmate?

SCENE 3: INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

[Jerry is showing his date, Jennifer (also J.S.), his apartment.]
JENNIFER: So, you're a comedian? JERRY: Yeah. Stand-up. JENNIFER: My ex-husband was a clown. Not metaphorically. Literally a clown. JERRY: Oh. JENNIFER: He used to leave his big shoes just anywhere. Tripped over them once, broke my toe. [Kramer bursts in, juggling brightly colored scarves.]
JERRY: Kramer! What are you doing? KRAMER: Practicing my act! I'm thinking of opening for you!

SCENE 4: INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT

[Jerry is performing his stand-up routine. George and Elaine are in the audience. Jennifer is not there.]
[Jerry is on stage.]
JERRY: So, initials. Turns out, not so important. Especially when the person with the same initials as you turns out to be…a juggler. [George and Elaine exchange glances.]
JERRY: Or, even worse, the ex-wife of a clown. Who juggles. [Elaine shakes her head.]
JERRY: Apparently, the juggling gene is recessive. Like attached earlobes.

CLOSING MONOLOGUE - (INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT)

JERRY:
So, I’m back to square one. No initials, no connections, no juggling ex-clown wives. Just me and my laundry. Which, by the way, is meticulously folded. By initial.